"She was 2 lbs 11 ounces when she was born. We named her after Amelia Earhart, in case she needed to fly away."
once on a 2 hour drive home I stuck my head out the window like a dog, the next day I woke up with sooo many spots, I bet dogs don’t have to deal with that shit do they?
"maybe you shouldnt eat all of tha-"
This is me and my dad aka the ‘Rat and mouse of the house’
do you think nut companies whose nuts are given out on planes are highly respected in the nut community or are they like the losers
you are the dancing queen, young and sweet only seventeen.
that is a raccoon
Aw I love him
Kindness costs nothing
I loved this!
"Right after I lost vision in my eye, I was so bad at walking that I ran into a girl eating ice cream, and knocked her cone out of her hand. She screamed: ‘Are you blind!?!?’ I turned to her and said: ‘I am blind actually, I’m so sorry, I’ll buy you a new cone.’ And she said: ‘Oh my God! I’m so sorry! Don’t worry! It’s no problem at all! I’ll buy another one.’ So we walked into the ice cream store together, and the clerk said: ‘I heard the whole thing. Ice cream is free.’"
will you guys shut the fuck up im trying to sleep